Timely Tip
You’ve got (e)mail…oh, no!
Email makes it possible for us manage huge amounts of information and, in some ways, be more productive. It also brings the possibility of making a difficult situation worse. I advise that email NEVER be substituted for face to face conversation when there is conflict or any likelihood of significant misinterpretation or misunderstanding between the parties – and most especially if the topic is already contentious.
That said here are a couple of ideas for improving the quality of your everyday email correspondence:
- WAIT: One good thing about email is that you can practice as much as you want before you ever hit the send button. Make it a habit to wait 15 minutes before hitting the infamous and irretrievable SEND.
- EXPRESS YOUR INTERESTS: Next time you get an email asking you a question you don’t understand, you can ask the person to explain their reasoning by typing, “What leads you to ask?” If you’re suggesting a solution, you can begin by identifying your interests. How is an “interest” different from a solution or position? See "The Interest Based Approach (IBA) to Problem Solving and Decision Making".
- INQUIRE: Then you can combine advocacy for your own interests with inquiry by asking what others’ interests are.
- TEST ASSUMPTIONS: If you receive an email that is vague you can test your assumptions by writing, “When you said X, I was assuming Y, was that what you were thinking?
(Thanks to Roger Schwarz for these ideas)