I've continually dreamed of you and sometimes the dream repeats itself in a single night. I would not like to be superstitious ... but I like to believe that you are thinking constantly of me and this makes my mind reproduce what goes on in yours for after all my brain is part of yours and this is not strange because while I am asleep here, you are awake there, etc. etc. [4] ."You're at the center of my thoughts," Rizal seems to be telling his mother so that her images return to him as if unwilled. Biographers of Rizal have noted the close ties shared by mother and son. The letter above is one example of their intimacy. Yet, Rizal accounts for the involuntary repetition of his dreams by attributing it to his mother's constant thoughts of him. His dreams are the "reproductions" of her waking thoughts, which in turn are invariably about him. His mother thus comes across as a repository for images of himself. Dreaming of her is a way of reproducing those images but in displaced fashion so that they involve not only memories of her but images of her thinking about him as well. The involuntary nature of such imaging suggests the workings of a kind of mechanical memory--one that escapes conscious intentionality--that draws on the labor of the mother's thoughts.
My mother continued her reading ... (but) the fate of the two insects interested me intensely. The light agitated its golden tongue on one side, a singed moth in one of these movements fell into oil, clapped its wings for some time and then died. That assumed for me the proportion of a great event and as a strange phenomenon that I have always observed in me when something excites me. It seemed to me that the flame and the moths (in the story) were moving far away, very far, and my mother's voice acquired a strange, sepulchral timbre. My mother finished the fable. I was not listening; all my attention, all my thoughts were concentrated on the fate of the moths, young, dead and full of illusions. (Reminiscenses 36- 37)
... all have had and have an idol (idolo)--beautiful, brilliant, sublime, but implacable, fierce and demanding--whom they have called Motherland (Patria) ... she is in the thoughts of everyone, and like the light enclosed in clear crystal, she goes forth in the most vivid splendor." (Prosa 12)
... there in our country are our first memories (recuerdos) of childhood, a happy ode, known only in childhood, from whose traces spring forth the flower of innocence and happiness; because there slumbers a whole past and future to be hoped; because in her forests and in her meadows, on every tree, on every blade, on every flower, you see engraved (grabado) the memory of a being you love, as her breath in perfumed breeze, her song in the murmur of the fountains, her smile in the rainbow of the sky, or her sighs in the confused moans of the night wind. (Prosa 13)
Probably these beauties or tender remembrances fortify the bond that unties us to the land of our birth, engendering sweet feelings of well-being when we are in our country, or profound melancholia when we are far away from it, the origin of a cruel disease called nostalgia. Oh! never sadden the stranger who arrives at our shores; do not awaken in him vivid memories of his country, of the comfort (delicias) of his home, because then unfortunately, you will evoke in him this disease, a tenacious phantom (tenaz fantasma) that will not abandon him until he sees his native soil or the borders of his tomb. (Prosa 14)
Some have sacrificed for her their youth, their pleasures, others have dedicated to her the splendors of their genius; others shed their blood; all have died, bequeathing to their motherland an immense fortune: liberty and glory. And what has she done for them? She mourns them, and proudly presents them to the world, to posterity and to her children to serve as examples.(Prosa 16-17)
Doctor Jose Rizal! Shot in Manila, 30 December 1896. Tyranny snatched you away from us! ... But what she will never do is to erase you from the hearts of your countrymen. When the Philippines is able to decide its own destiny, she will know how to erect an altar to your memory in the temple of immortality and to put your name in letters of gold in the eternal pages of history. For now, you must satisfy yourself with the ardent worship (culto fervoroso) that each Filipino devotes to you from the depths of their souls. (Retana, illus. 13, n. pag.)